Yesterday morning my neck got caught while I was working out. In the healing approach that I work with, I will often try to look for the story behind any illnesses, pains and even injuries. 'What is the meaning of this? Why the neck? Why specifically in this morning workout when I've done the same exercises hundreds of times and it hasn't happened before?'
In the interpretation according to "Recall Healing" we look for the reason that the body will choose to express a "dysfunction" or pain in a specific area or organ . This does not mean that the training did not contribute or that there are no external factors that influence the body; it just gives me an opportunity to look inwards and see if there is something that I am going through in my life that is asking for more attention from me.
When the neck gets caught the meaning might have to do with a story where I wanted to look in a certain direction but I wasn't able to because it's not ok to do so, or it could possibly hurt someone else if I do. According to this explanation, the body tries to solve the mental difficulty of "I don't know whether to look left or right" by making sure I don't move my head at all. I don't know if this is the absolute truth and that this is always the reason why the neck gets caught, but for me personally it is very helpful to look at the body as a sophisticated biological machine that probably knows what it's doing, and if it chooses to be stiff or create pain, maybe that is the best thing that my body can do for me right now.
So, later on in the day, I take a moment to go inside and look for what I may have wanted to look at and couldn't. Maybe it's a message I received related to something that happened a few years ago and it was too hard for me to look at. Maybe it's something else... at the moment I'm not sure, but I'm trying as much as I can to let go, to ask friends for help, for support, for physical contact, and to allow my stories from the past to be heard. I understand that the pain is also important in my process, and that it is here so that I will go through it, so that I will give it space, and agree to feel it. I'm so good at being strong and not admitting that there is any pain, and this becomes an opportunity to surrender to a moment of vulnerability.
In the evening at the sea, I allow myself to lean back and let a good friend hold me in her arms. Some tears join in, just from allowing myself to be held and let go into her embrace.
I know there may be more pain that is asking for space. The neck still hurts but something inside is more at peace.
I remind myself that it's ok to feel pain, that it's ok to let go, and that I am allowed to let others support me. That I am allowed to rest.
I remind myself that it's ok to hurt.
It's ok to feel pain.
