Moments of Grace and Truth
I always had a hard time with small talk. When I found out for the first time as a teenager that there is such a thing as an intimate conversation, a part of my soul was at ease, and I started looking for this connection anywhere I could. At first, I could experience this with girls who were more emotionally developed than the boys I knew and knew how to be vulnerable and exposed. I also wanted to be vulnerable, to touch my depths, and to be closer to myself. During these intimate conversations, I also discovered that I'm really good at listening, and I can allow the person on the other side to share with more ease and be in touch with something real and honest.
In the world of therapy, this is a potential that is found in every moment. Still, it's not as clear-cut as it sounds, and sometimes within a session, you may try to go deeper through the mind, but other more fundamental parts may remain hidden.
I searched for different ways to touch these parts of myself, and I noticed that the more I meet myself, the more I meet these parts in others.
In my clinic, I began to encounter these moments of grace. Like a momentary glimpse into the other's soul. Like a glimpse into the divinity within the person in front of me. Even now, as I write these words, I am moved, and tears of truth and grace come to my eyes.
Yesterday at the clinic, I met a 75-year-old woman and experienced one of these moments of grace. This woman could acknowledge the loss of almost 60 years that she had suffered, and she allowed herself for the first time to mourn that loss. She mourned the loss of the innocent 16-year-old girl she was. She let herself mourn and feel the pain that had no place for many years until that moment. She cried, and I cried with her. It was a moment I will never forget and will stay with me forever. A moment of pain, truth, and beauty that is hard to describe in words.
And in her pain, I remembered myself. I remembered those parts of me that I almost lost. I remembered why I am here and realized that I can experience moments of grace and truth every day if I only choose to. I also realized that I could invite others to join me there, to take a brave step through the door of fear and pain into a new space of closeness to ourselves and to something greater than us.
"Somewhere beyond right and wrong, there is a field. I'll meet you there." - Jalaluddin Rumi.